i don't like always complaining about feeling angry or depressed or sad. its funny, i can deal with physical pain much better than emotional...i've just had it so much, been depressed been nervous for so fucking long i can't handle little things very easy. I thought...and still think i have this "borderline personality disorder". I guess because A) my parents are kinda screwy, my dad is either permanently depressed or i dunno, he's just not a big part of my life. he's so agreeable about everything. i get all D's and he's like "i had it hard too...at least you passed!" ill admit i used to be extremely cruel to him. always have. and mom was always emotionally more available, and seemed to know what i felt, but she herself is really moody and even though she is totally bipolar and seems so full of herself, she's really withdrawn with people.
So after years of medication and some hospitilization, i can say the only drug that has come close to helping would be the Adderall type drugs. but i want to know, when your so nervous that you eat and eat then excersize because you feel fat, you are late for your neurofeedback session and start screaming and crying, when you talk down and basically question the existence of your brother who reminds you too much of yourself (an empty shell, pointless). what do you do? I almost WANT to be suicidal just to stop feeling this way sometimes seriously!! Please take this seriously.
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nothing