I know nothing I say right now is going to help you drastically, because I know how bad it hurts to lose someone you love.  All I can do is try to help you through my own experiences.  Understand that you are insanely young still.  Hardly anyone finds their life partner at your current age.  Everyone has to go through a hard breakup, consider yourself lucky that you had it early enough in your life that it didn't do much damage.

You need to take your past experience and grow from it.  Relationships make you both stronger and smarter.   If you are able to get past this, your future relationships will be much more stable, and much more fulfilling.  The key thing you need to grasp here is that 'anyone can get over anyone'.  I hate to be a damper on romantics, but there is no such thing as someones one and only soulmate.  People are extremely replaceable, and the sooner you realize that is the sooner you will be able to move on and get on with a healthy happy life.  

I'm sorry if I didn't exactly say 'happy' things in here, but I'm trying to be completely honest.  Realize that she isn't the only girl out there and move on.  You will be much happier once you do.

Good luck, and if you ever want to talk to me about something, you can PM me.  

-Holly

Posted at 10:09 pm on Sep. 10, 2008

From what you wrote it sounds to me like she wasn't the right person for you in the first place if she was emotionally abusive to you. It's also been a few years since the relationship ended and you need to move on, but it's okay to keep a small part of her with you. I think the first thing you need to do is get your health back in order and to get yourself well. You have to look at things in life that you have experienced and have yet to experience, and use those things to motivate yourself to get well. It may be the feeling of love, the sight of a sunset or sunrise, the feeling you get when you hug a friend, or the smile or laughter of a loved one. Think about the things that have made you feel good in the past and focus on those things, and set some goals that will help you give you the will to want to live again.

They always say that there are more "fish in the sea" and that everyone has the perfect mate out there for them, and yours may still need to be found. There is someone out there for you that will love you, care about you and will be willing to help you get through any issues that you will encounter in life, but if you let yourself die you will never find that person. We're only given one chance at life, one chance to experience the beautiful people, places and things in this word so don't be so quick to give up your chance. You have to be the one who wants to do it, but if you talk to family and friends I'm sure that you will find that there are a lot of people who are willing to help you succeed.

Posted at 6:15 am on Sep. 8, 2008