Did you and your sister get any form of counselling after she died?  I'm thinking there is a lot of emotion there, both on your sisters side, and on yours, and she doesn't know how to handle it.  She's basically 'lashing out' at anyone who is closest to her, namely you.  I doubt she means it, if she's implying it was your fault.  She just doesn't know how else to deal with it.

Do you have an older relative, your dad or a Gran maybe?  Someone you can explain what's happening, and let them have a chat with her.  It's possible she doesn't realise she's doing it, or she doesn't know how else to cope, and they can help with that.

Whatever you do, don't take blame.  Accidents are exactly that, you can't change it, or go back.  It's cruel but it was meant to be, obviously.  You now have to get on with your life and not let this hold you back, she will want you to be successful and will always be around you

Posted at 11:03 pm on Sep. 7, 2008

I know this is hard on you.  Have you gotten all the help you need emotionally from your mom's death?  Or do you think you're fine regarding that aspect?  Its never going to be easy on you when you think about your mom.  My mom died when I was younger.  And for a short while afterwards, I thought it was my fault.  And it wasn't.  So first, accept that you didn't cause her death.  If you did, wouldn't of have been legally punished?  You weren't, were you?  We're always going to feel guilty, but you're not in the big scheme of things.  Things happen for a reason.

On to your sister.  Your sister has probably not fully accepted your mom's passing.  Sometimes it takes people a long time to get over things like this.  She wants someone to blame because she wants to release the energy that builds up inside of her about this.  What is your sister doing beside hating you?  Ignore these things.  She's still hurt.  

With that said, talk to your sister.  Sit down with her and just talk all of this over.  Tell her to get all her feelings on the table. Then go from there.  From that point on, its in the recovery stage.  She'll realize all the things she did to you was a mistake and you'll go back to being good sisters.

Best wishes; Contact me anytime if you have any questions.

~jamesish~

Posted at 4:41 pm on Sep. 7, 2008